I met my deafness in Bonn. At 20 Bonngasse Street. The exact place where Ludwig van Beethoven was born two centuries prior to my visit.<\/p>\n
I went to that house to listen to the history of a beloved composer. In reality, though, I clearly saw my own future: the real challenge of deafness as a disease, inevitable defeat, temporary joys, numerous disappointments experienced with oneself, and the opportunity of this century.<\/p>\n
This happened in May 2019. During an ordinary business trip.<\/p>\n
More accurately, I can’t even call it ordinary\u2014this meeting was scheduled early on at the Deutsche Welle office to announce the progress of Ajara TV and Radio as the project winner. A month before the visit, “they caught me and cut off my arm for building something good” [a Georgian idiom for being punished for doing a good job], and then what happened next, everyone knows… In short, by the time the other project participants were packing their bags, I was no longer the director. The progress of the television and radio was still visible. Throughout that period, I tried very hard to ensure that the public channel’s independent editorial policy, impartiality, the boldness of objectivity in programs, and its distinctiveness would be seen by everyone in the organization as their own achievement, not just the director’s. I like building things this way. In fact, I believe this is the only way to build\u2014you have to help everyone discover the joy of their own participation. That is how I discovered my people-oriented public broadcaster. Anyway, one way or another, Deutsche Welle did not cancel the agreed-upon participation. They stated that the responsibility for the progress was mine. Illogically to many, but with German precision, that turning-point visit to Bonn somehow took place.<\/p>\n
For instance, up until that day, that ordinary day, I hadn’t even thought much about the fact that Beethoven was deaf. I hadn’t thought about how he wrote or how he heard himself, his own music\u2014until I unexpectedly found myself standing in front of his copper ear trumpets.<\/p>\n
These were small, medium, large, larger, and even larger horn-shaped devices, each connected by a copper band to be worn on the head. Right there lay his testament\u2014the sorrow revealed to his brothers. It turns out he had grown weary of life amidst the pain of losing his hearing and becoming dysfunctional. The sorrow of being detached from art was healed again by his creative power. He writes in one place: “It was only my art that held me back. Oh, it seemed to me impossible to leave the world until I had brought forth all that I felt it was my duty to produce.”<\/i><\/p>\n
There is much more in the testament. But thankfully, he changed his mind and composed, in my opinion, his greatest masterpieces, including Symphony No. 3, Symphony No. 5, and Symphony No. 9.<\/p>\n
They said there that to hear the music, he would sometimes press his teeth against the keys, or hold a stick in his teeth just to feel the vibration. By the way, right there they let us listen to how this genius man heard the Ninth Symphony. It was a howl. An inhuman howl.<\/p>\n
It was in those minutes, minutes stretched into centuries, that I saw the progress of his and my disease through the length of those copper trumpets\u2014the anticipation of suffering, the periodic ineffectiveness of the devices, the agony of searching for new ways. In short, completely unexpectedly, between those two stands\u2014where the testament and the archaic hearing aids were displayed\u2014the fires of hell ignited. What kind? I cannot convey it with words, even now I cannot. I will only say that it is truly rare for a person to see the chronology of their own future in museum exhibits. That’s all there is to it.<\/p>\n
Even today, I don’t know if I would have been so emotionally mobilized had it not been for that strange visit.<\/p>\n
No one is prepared for a limitation of their abilities.<\/p>\n
“This is our offer. We present the latest models. Choose the desired name of the cochlear implant and get back to us.”<\/i><\/p>\n
That is what they told me 7 years after the emotions of Beethoven’s house. After I had traveled a very, very long road, both literally and figuratively. I left behind two unsuccessful surgeries in New York, and diagnostic visits in Turkey and Germany prior to that.<\/p>\n
Do you remember that woman who said about children with Duchenne, “It’s not like they were going to be Einsteins anyway”? I met people like her in clinics in Georgia. While trying to get disability status, I even heard this: “These disabled people are eating us alive, you are not even entitled to a 100 GEL pension yet”<\/i>… They would probably say now, too, “If she doesn’t have hearing, it’s not like she’s Bach or Beethoven either,”<\/i> but I have my own path. I want to live my life as a human rights defender. From somewhere deep down, my human duties and the technological possibilities brought by artificial intelligence give me no rest.<\/p>\n
At that same meeting, they handed me two colorful manuals featuring high-resolution photos of happy elderly people, young people with guitars, and children with soap bubbles, along with simple explanations for people of all ages.<\/p>\n
I took the catalogs home. After much thought, I narrowed the choice down to just two global leaders \u2014 the Australian Cochlear<\/b> and the Austrian MED-EL<\/b>. I spent the following weeks reading about technology, scientific publications, clinical outcomes, and patient experiences, scrolling through YouTube and TikTok on these topics, and verifying details with every AI chat.<\/p>\n
The difference here lay not only in electrodes, processors, or design. Each company has its own philosophy: one relies more on maximizing the preservation of the inner ear’s natural anatomy, while the other develops the idea of the brain’s neuroplasticity, a constantly evolving digital ecosystem, and the notion that hearing does not start only with the ear. Because of these and other benefits, in the end, I chose not just an implant, but an entire neurotechnological system.<\/p>\n
The choice was not easy. We Georgians have a saying, “I am not married to it,”<\/i> but here, I realized, it turned out to be even more than that. Divorce would be impossible. By choosing an implant, you are in a way choosing a technological life companion.<\/p>\n
After much deliberation and thought, my new system is the Cochlear Nucleus\u00ae 8 Nexa\u00ae<\/b> and Kanso\u00ae 3 Nexa\u00ae<\/b>.<\/p>\n
By the way, in this colorful catalog, the inventor himself smiles quite endearingly\u2014Australian scientist Graeme Clark, whose own father was hearing impaired. A son managed to solve the problem of his father and millions of people on such a massive scale. Now, his invention, which he conceptualized while studying a seashell, is one of the most successful, continuously improved sensory interfaces between technology and the human brain. Half of this system is technology\u2014the other half is the human brain. The processor only sends a signal. The brain ultimately learns to “create” the sound.<\/p>\n
I am learning, too.<\/p>\n
Six weeks have passed since the surgery. Today, during the programming of the cochlear implant, another unique test was attempted\u2014determining the Electrically Evoked Stapedial Reflex (EESR) threshold. Apart from a minor Facial Nerve Stimulation (FNS), no reflex response was recorded. My middle ear simply “refused.” However, I am no exception\u2014this happens in almost a third of patients due to the individual anatomy of the middle ear or the peculiarities of the nervous system. Now I will take care of my nerves and try again. The auditory nerve and brainstem are learning to receive electrical impulses. The neural pathways will become more active and might “wake up.”<\/p>\n
In return, they then activated programs P1, P2, and P3, which significantly increased my perception. It seems that medicine has an alternative route for these surprises too.<\/p>\n
After loading the new programming, I listen differently to how my brain converts electrical impulses into sounds. Gradually, I am becoming convinced that a platform has been embedded in my skull, which will learn, update, and develop alongside me for years to come.<\/p>\n
Also because of those accompanying nuances, the description of which would take much more time, I can say for sure that there are numerous challenges ahead.<\/p>\n
Today, it is unknown what other technological improvements will greet us tomorrow on screens, in online stores, and in medical catalogs. In any case, our difficult path gives us, hearing-impaired people, the opportunity to be proud of being a part of civilization and to personally conduct the most vibrant communication between the human mind and technology.<\/p>\n
Author:<\/b> Natia Kapanadze<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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